DON’T LET YOUR PAST HOLD YOU BACK!

Is your past, or something in your past, holding you back? Do you keep revisiting the past or some incident in the past to such an extent that it’s preventing you from living fully in the now? 

Listen to these wise words from the Indian spiritual philosopher J. Krishnamurti, pictured right and below:

We are the result of the past. Our thought is founded upon yesterday, and many thousand yesterdays. We are the result of time, and our responses, our present attitudes, are the cumulative effect of many thousand moments, incidents and experiences. So the past is, for the majority of us, the present, which is a fact, which cannot be denied. You, your thoughts, your actions, your responses, are the result of the past. 

So, how can we be free of the past? Of course, as I’ve said many times, we should never ask ‘how’, because then we are asking for a method or technique. Methods and techniques are forms of conditioning, which is the past. The past cannot free us from the past. But what exactly is the past? Here is Krishnamurti once again:

… What do we mean by the past? … We mean, surely, the accumulated experiences, the accumulated responses, memories, traditions, knowledge, the subconscious storehouse of innumerable thoughts, feelings, influences and responses, With that background, it is not possible to understand reality, because reality must be of no time: it is timeless. So, one cannot understand the timeless with a mind which is the outcome of time. The questioner wants to know if it is possible to free the mind, or for the mind, which is the result of time, to cease to be, immediately; or must one go through a long series of examinations and analyses, and so free the mind from its background. You see the difficulty in the question.

Self-analysis tends to fail because the ‘analysing self’ is just another manifestation of self—that is, one of the hundreds of little selves (the ‘I’s’ and ‘me’s’ in our mind). How can the self analyse the self, or one of the many other selves within us? No effort of the self can remove the self from the centre of its own introspection and mental machinations. Let’s say that a thought of anger arises in your mind. The part of your mind which analyses the anger is part of the anger. There is simply no way, by that means, to free yourself from the background. True psychological transformation can only arise when one is entirely free of the background (the ‘mental furniture’). Look and observe. Be aware—choicelessly. Don’t analyse or interpret. Just look, observe and see things as they are—both the things outside of us as well as the contents of our own mind. The insight you gain will change you forever—that is, if you want such change in your life.

The good news is that you can be totally free of the past at any moment. It’s entirely up to you. No one else can do this for you. Yes, there can indeed be that ‘total revolution’ or ‘psychological mutation’ of which Krishnamurti often spoke. We can instantaneously liberate ourselves from the past and from past conditioning including beliefs and misbeliefs of all kinds if we refuse to analyse or dissect the content of our consciousness (the ‘background’ or ‘mental furniture’) and simply see things as they really are, without judgment or evaluation.

In what follows, Krishnamurti describes, much better than I could ever hope to do, the essential features of a mind that is ‘mindful’ (or, to use his word, 'tranquil'):

Now, to put it very simply, when you want to understand something, what is the state of your mind? When you want to understand your child, when you want to understand somebody, something that someone is saying, what is the state of your mind? You are not analysing, criticizing, judging what the other is saying; you are listening, are you not? Your mind is in a state where the thought process is not active, but is very alert. Yes? And that alertness is not of time, is it? You are merely being alert, passively receptive, and yet fully aware; and it is only in this state that there is understanding. Surely, when the mind is agitated, questioning, worrying, dissecting, analysing, there is no understanding. And when there is the intensity to understand, the mind is obviously tranquil.

So, this is what you can choose to do—if you really want to be free, forever, and instantaneously, from the bondage of the past. Watch, almost with disinterest, whatever happens, as if it were happening to someone else. Let there be no comment, judgment or attempt to change anything. Note the presence of any unhealthy, painful thoughts, emotions or memories, but give them no power or attention. Don’t suppress or deny them. Don’t resist them, for whatever you resist, persists. Simply observe … choicelessly … and then let go. And let it be.

Acknowledgment is made, and gratitude is expressed, to the Krishnamurti Foundation of America,

Ojai, California, USA. Krishnamurti Excerpts: Benares 2nd Public Talk, 23 January 1949.

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IMPORTANT NOTICE: See the Terms of Use and Disclaimer. The information provided on this blog is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your medical practitioner or other qualified health provider because of something you read on this blog.

A NEW YEAR BEGINS

A New Year begins. It’s a time for taking charge of one’s life and for giving up the old and embracing the new.

It is said that we are born free. Well, never entirely free. You see, part of the price we pay for Spirit (pure Be-ing) descending into matter, for the Word becoming flesh, so to speak, is that we invariably find ourselves caught up, indeed trapped, in a time-bound, self-centred prison which is not entirely of our own making but which becomes more and more escape-proof as we choose, hundreds and thousands of times, to identify with our false sense of ‘self’ in the form of our innumerable likes, dislikes, views, opinions, beliefs, attachments and aversions.

Yet, as Norman Vincent Peale once wrote, ‘There is a spiritual giant within us, which is always struggling to burst its way out of the prison we have made for it.’ How I love those words! The words are themselves bursting with life-changing power. Even if what Peale said were not the case, I think those words of his are nevertheless so powerful that they still could move mountains---perhaps even literally!

Deep down inside ourselves, we know that we were not meant to live as spiritual and emotional cripples. I love these oft-cited words from P D Ouspensky (In Search of the Miraculous) as he quotes George Gurdjieff (pictured right):

Freedom, liberation, this must be the aim of man. To become free, to be liberated from slavery: this is what a man ought to strive for when he becomes even a little conscious of his position. There is nothing else for him, and nothing else is possible so long as he remains a slave both inwardly and outwardly. But he cannot cease to be a slave outwardly while he remains a slave inwardly. Therefore in order to become free, man must gain inner freedom.

The first reason for man's inner slavery is his ignorance, and above all, his ignorance of himself. Without self-knowledge, without understanding the working and functions of his machine, man cannot be free, he cannot govern himself and he will always remain a slave, and the plaything of the forces acting upon him.

This is why in all ancient teachings the first demand at the beginning of the way to liberation was: ‘Know thyself.’

Know thyself. That has always been the message of the great teachers, mystics, saints and holy ones. In the words of Dr Peale, 'Self-knowledge leads to a cure. Self-knowledge is the beginning of self-correction. The first step toward being what you can be is to know what you are.' Yes, until we know we are in bondage -- and until we acknowledge that fact -- there is really no hope for us. However, as soon as we admit to ourselves that we are in bondage, that there is something seriously 'wrong' with and in us, there is hope for us. Further, when we say to ourselves, ‘I want to be free, more than anything else in the world,’ then our walk to freedom begins, but we must be prepared to go to any length to get it.

Do you really want to be free? Well, then, ask yourself this question, ‘Who has bound me?’ No voice answers back -- except perhaps your own -- and if you are in touch with the reality of your being you will come to realize that, in truth, you, the person that you are, have always been free and unlimited.

True, you may have attached your ‘self’ to all kinds of things and persons -- for it is a fact that the 'self' always wants opportunities for gratification of various kinds -- but once you lose the illusion of self your mental states will no longer revert to negativity. Know this: you are not a 'self,' but a person among persons in the All-in-All of Life. If you have trouble accepting the fact that there is no 'self,' I suspect the reason for that is this---your attachment to 'self' is very strong. If so, get rid of your 'self.' Drop it---now! You don't need it, and it only gets in the way of your true Be-ing.

Yes, the person that you are is part of life’s self-expression, and the life of you is always free and unlimited. Life, which is forever engaged in a timeless renewal of itself from one moment to the next, is never in bondage or slavery, but we can and so often do make a veritable prison for ourselves out of our ‘selves’. Never forget that. But we can still assert our innate spiritual freedom---at any time!

Vernon Howard (pictured left) wrote, 'To change what we get we must change who we are.' We need to start living from and in that centre of life-consciousness which is the very ground of your being---the very livingness of your life---right now! You see, this ground of your being is nothing less than the individualised, personalised, condensed totality of Be-ing itself, and this ‘energy-base’ is closer to you than breathing and nearer than hands and feet.  

Yes, Be-ing indwells, infuses, animates and expresses all persons and all material creation – indeed, all life! Nothing, absolutely nothing, exists which is outside the orbit and presence of pure Be-ing, and you are at all times immersed, indeed saturated, in that Be-ing -- that All-in-All -- as It forever lives out Its livingness in and as you, the person that you are. Once you fully awaken to that fact, and start living that fact, you are free. Yes, really!

Those who are free are those who are not in trouble with themselves. They no longer react mechanically, that is, from conditioned thought. They live in awareness. They are not obsessed with the need to be happy. They do not care how others should treat them or behave toward them. They know that the answer to every problem lies within themselves. Further, they know that, for each of us, the only real problem is---ourself, that is, our 'self.'

Do you want to be free? Really? How greatly do you want to be free? Are you prepared to go to any length to be free? 

Happy New Year!

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IMPORTANT NOTICE: See the Terms of Use and Disclaimer. The information provided on this blog is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your medical practitioner or other qualified health provider because of something you have read on this blog. In Australia, for immediate advice or support call Lifeline on 13 1 1 14, beyondblue on 1300 22 4636, or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, and for information, advice and referral on mental illness contact the SANE Helpline on 1800 18 SANE (7263) or go online via sane.org. In other countries, call the relevant mental health care emergency hotline or simply dial your emergency assistance telephone number and ask for help.

YOUR BREATHING IS YOUR GREATEST FRIEND

There is a saying---some say it is a Buddhist proverb---that states, ‘Your breathing is your greatest friend. Return to it in all your troubles and you will find comfort and guidance.’ How true that is.

What happens when you are stressed? Well, a number of things. Among them, your heart rate increases, and so does your breathing which ordinarily becomes more shallow as well.

Here is something the Eastern masters have taught for centuries that can help you to deal effectively with stress. At the first sign of your becoming stressed, become aware of your breathing. Do not attempt to change it. Do not attempt to slow it down or deepen it. Just be aware of your breathing where your breath is most prominently felt (eg nostril, mouth, throat). Be aware of the warmth or slowness of your breath. Be aware of its rate and frequency. Be awareness of its shallowness. Again, do not attempt to change any of these things. Simply be aware, and stay aware, of your breathing for 5, 10 or 15 minutes---that is, for as long as it takes for your breathing to slow down as well as deepen.

That’s right. Stay aware of your breathing until it slows down and deepens of its own accord. It’s amazing---well, it’s not so amazing really---that your awareness of your breathing will result in your breathing slowing down and deepening. Some readers may find this idea counter-intuitive, but it’s not. Awareness is non-resistance. Awareness is non-judgmental self-observation. Awareness is letting be …. and letting go. And awareness effects positive changes in your body and mind.

Listen to these words of wisdom from the Vietnamese Zen Buddhist master Thich Nhat Hanh (pictured):

'Each time we find ourselves dispersed and find it difficult to gain control of ourselves by different means, the method of watching the breath should always be used.'

Now, if at any point in time during your awareness of your breathing you become mentally or emotionally distracted by some troubling thought, feeling, idea, memory or sensation, gently---note that word ‘gently’---bring your awareness back to your breathing.

One more thing. Don’t forget to breathe. Some people, when they become consciously aware of their breathing, forget to breathe. Watch that. It is self-correcting---a good thing it is---but it’s still better to avoid it.

Yes, conscious awareness of your breathing will bring you relaxation and comfort. Try it.

HOW MINDFULNESS CAN HELP YOU TO OVERCOME ANGER AND OTHER NEGATIVE STATES OF MIND

Do you ever get angry? Resentful? Jealous? Of course you do. So do I.

Now, there is a type of anger which, if properly directed, can be good. We ought rightfully be angry about such things as climate change, world poverty, terrorism, religious fundamentalism, and many, many other things. However, we must never allow our anger to contaminate our lives or those of others. Additionally, reason must always prevail over our emotions.

This post is about anger and other negative states of mind that, if not properly managed, can and will poison our lives and those of others as well. How can mindfulness help us to overcome those negative states of mind?

When we are angry---and what I am about to say applies equally to all other negative states of mind---we attach our consciousness and our attention to a false self-image in our mind (eg the ‘angry I’ self-image). There is an attachment or an aversion (the latter being a reverse attachment, but still an attachment for all that) to this negative self-image which we mistakenly assume is the person (that is, the sentient being with a certain identity) that each one of us is. This false self-image becomes our master, and we its slave. Now, when we are angry [or whatever] at some other person, we make the very same kind of assumption and mistaken belief as respects the other person. In other words, we attach ourselves---that is, the person each one of us is---to a false image in our mind as respects the other person. We see that person, not as the person that they are, but rather as the ‘nasty him [or her]’ or the ‘unappreciative him [or her]’ or something similar. In effect, we conflate the person that he or she is with our negative and false self-image of that person.

These images of ourselves and others are false and illusory, not because they do not exist, but rather because they are not the real person that we and the other person are. Additionally, these self-images have no separate, independent or non-transient existence from the person in question. In truth, they are inconstant, identity-less and conditioned.) To use a Buddhist term, these self-images are ‘empty,’ which means they have no independent existence. Of course, the images are false in another sense as well, for no single image of a person can ever be true as respects the totality of that person as a mind-body complex. It may be true as respects perhaps some of the temporal behaviour or conduct of the person in question but in truth it can never be true of the person as a whole who, unlike the image, has a real, ontological identity. Enough said (hopefully).

Now, how can mindfulness help us to manage and even overcome such negative states of mind? Well, mindfulness is sustained self-observation, and with the latter comes self-insight. Over time, we come to see our negative self-images as false and illusory.

The ‘secret’ is to give these self-images, when they arise in our consciousness, choiceless, non-judgmental, bare attention. In other words, we give them what is known as ‘unadorned observation.’ Over time, you will find that there is no longer any ‘I’ in what you are experiencing from moment to moment. That is, you will come to simply observe that, for example, ‘there is anger’ as opposed to ‘I [that is, you] am angry.’ (There really isn't any 'I' in any event.) Yes, you will come to simply see and observe what is present in each experience of the moment as present, and additionally what is absent as absent. In short, there will be no self-identification---and no attachment to any ‘I,’ ‘me,’ or ‘mine’ on your part. Too good to be true. Not at all.

Many of you will have heard of the Four NobleTruths of Buddhism. They are as follows: (i) the truth of suffering [or unsatisfactoriness]; (ii) the truth of the origin of suffering; (iii) the truth of the cessation of suffering; and (iv) the truth of the path to the cessation of suffering. Now, you don’t have to be a Buddhist, or for that matter a follower of any religion at all, to be able to apply these truths to the solution of your problems. The process has been called ‘unbinding.’

Here’s how it works. Let’s confine ourselves today to the application of these four truths to the management and overcoming of your negative emotional states. Take, once again, the emotional state of anger. The key, as always, is to observe---simply observe as if an objective, detached bystander to your own mindset and its workings. So, here it is. Observe, ‘There is anger.’ 

As you continue to observe you will in time come to see the cause of your anger. Observe, ‘There is the cause of my anger.’ Now, continue to observe as dispassionately as possible. In time, your anger will dissipate---for all things are impermanent---and you will then be able to say, ‘This is the stopping of anger.’ Not only that, but in time, if you are painstaking about your observation and choiceless awareness you will come to see how your anger came to an end. (The anger ended because you choicelessly and nonjudgmentally observed it with detachment.) Now you can say, ‘This is the way leading to the stopping of anger.’ And what has there been in all this? I will tell you. Simply observation and experience in and of itself---that is, with no subject or object superimposed upon it.

I love these words from the influential Thai Buddhist teacher Ajahn Chah [pictured left]:

'Peace is within oneself to be found in the same place as agitation and suffering. It is not found in a forest or on a hilltop, nor is it given by a teacher. Where you experience suffering, you can also find freedom from suffering. Trying to run away from suffering is actually to run toward it.'

Got that? 'Where you experience suffering, you can also find freedom from suffering.' The solution to your problem is always to be found on the same level, indeed at the very same 'spot,' as the problem itself.

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IMPORTANT NOTICE: See the Terms of Use and Disclaimer. The information provided on this blogspot is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your medical practitioner or other qualified health provider because of something you have read on this blogspot. For immediate advice or support call Lifeline on 13 1 1 14 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800. For information, advice and referral on mental illness contact the SANE Helpline on 1800 18 SANE (7263) go online via sane.org

 

 

LIFE AS IT IS---THE ONLY TEACHER

Most people are asleep---a deep, psychic sleep in which they do not know the difference between living mindfully and living mindlessly. 

The American spiritual psychologist Vernon Howard [pictured left] wrote, ‘Regardless of exterior appearances, the vast majority of human beings dwell in a state of inner sleep.’ How right he is!

Do you think you are awake? Of course, you do. Well, let me ask you this simple question? When was the last time you drove your car from A to B, and when you got to B you did not recall travelling along this street or that street even though you did travel along those streets? Was it today? Was it yesterday? I bet it wasn't too long ago. You know, if you had driven a bit more mindlessly you might have had a collision. And what about the others on the road---including me---how mindful are they? I suspect that most would be pretty much like you---and me.

Here are some wonderful lines:

Caught in a dream of self---only suffering.
Holding to self-centered thoughts---exactly the dream.
Each moment, life as it is---the only teacher.
Being just this moment---compassion's way.

I have read that the these Four Practice Principles, which are recited at the Ordinary Mind Zen School, were formulated by Zen teacher Charlotte Joko Beck and written by her student Alan Kaprow. The Four Practice Principles are a restatement of the Four Noble Truths, a basic teaching of Shakyamuni Buddha. (The Four Noble Truths are the Unsatisfactoriness [or Suffering] of Existence, the Cause of Unsatisfactoriness, an End to Unsatisfactoriness, and a Way to the End of Unsatisfactoriness.) 

What does it mean to be caught in a self-centered dream? Well, it’s more than being selfish, self-centered, self-absorbed, and self-obsessed---not that they are minor things. To be caught in a self-centered dream is to be trapped in the illusion of self---false self, lost of them in fact. There is the angry false self (‘I am angry’), the jealous false self (‘I am jealous’), the fearful false self (‘I am fearful’), the unworthy self (‘I am a miserable sinner’), and so on. These selves (actually, hundreds and hundreds of 'psychological "I's" and "me's"' that collectively manifest as our ego-consciousness) are called false because they are not the real person each one of us is, but we mistakenly believe that one or more of these false selves---which are nothing more than self-images in our mind---are the real person that we are. These false selves are illusory, not because they do not exist (for they do exist), but because they have no separate, distinct, permanent identity from the person that we are, the latter being a mind-body complex that is ontologically real (the 'physical "I"'). False selves take many different forms in our mind including beliefs, misbeliefs, opinions, views, assumptions, likes, dislikes, prejudices, biases, predilections, preferences, attachments, aversions, cravings. All this stuff is the result of conditioning or mind-training as well as the effects of memory and habit.

When you hear yourself say, ‘I am angry [or jealous, or fearful, or whatever],’ pull yourself up. Is that your real name? Is there a name on your lapel that says that your first or last name is ‘Angry’ [or ‘Jealous’, or ‘Fearful’, or ‘Unworthy’, or whatever]? Of course, there isn’t. Well, stop acting as if that were the case.

I teach and use in my counselling work what is known as ‘self illusion therapy’ for a couple of reasons. 

First, it works, that is, it helps people to let go of, and even dissolve, their illusory false selves that have made their lives miserable. (It certainly worked for me many years ago when I was trapped in the illusion of a chemically altered false self which had manifested in my life as alcoholism.) 

Secondly, I am firmly of the view that most of our emotional and psychological problems are the result of our mistakenly believing that our false selves are the real person each of us is. Self is the problem and, as William Temple pointed out, ‘no effort of the self can remove the self from the centre of its own endeavour.’ You see, the self that wants to get rid of the self that is causing problems in our life is the same self as the one causing the problems. Self cannot change self. That is why we need to rely upon a power-not-oneself. The person that you are---a person among persons---is ontologically real. Self can’t change. It has no power in and of itself in any event. However, the person that you are can change, if you want change very much, and are prepared to go to any length to effect change. And where does the power to change come from if it doesn't come from one's negative, conditioned ego-self? Real power is this---the absence of false power (the ego-self/false selves).

Suffering---unsatisfactoriness in many different forms---is the natural and inevitable consequence of being trapped in the illusion of self (a ‘dream of self’). The suffering will continue for so long as we hold on to our self-centered thoughts---that is, for so long as we continue in our psychic egocentric sleep. But the good news is that there is an answer. Yes, there is a way out.

What is the answer? Is it some person, some god or god-like figure who will step in and change everything for me? Well, there are some who assert that is the way out, but I beg to differ. One of the many things I like about Buddhism is that it says, ‘Only you, the person that you are, can get yourself out of the mess you have created for yourself.’

Change begins when we practice mindful self-observation. Observe your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. What are they telling you? Look at them dispassionately and objectively. You will soon discover your false selves. Just watch them---choicelessly, non-judgmentally. Don’t resist them or try to expel them directly or forcibly. Let them be---and then let them go. 

Life---which is the moment-to-moment unfolding of life’s self-expression (things-as-they-really-are)—is the only teacher. Your life is your teacher---and you, the person that you are, is the pupil. You need no other teacher or guru or saviour. You don’t need a new set of beliefs. Why do you think you need to believe? Do you want more trouble in your life? Come now. You only need to come to know and understand, and that’s where mindfulness and self-observation comes into play. When you watch and observe your false selves at work in your mind you will come to know and understand their true nature. Observe your 'angry self' as it really is---as anger. Ditto all other false selves. You need not be the victim of your own wrong thinking, beliefs, misbeliefs, and other self-defeating behaviour.

‘Being just this moment---compassion's way.’ If you get your mind of self---all those wretched selves to which I have referred---and begin to live mindfully from one moment to the next, your life will change in a most dramatic way. And you will wake up. It is the way of compassion and loving-kindness, but you must first show love and compassion to yourself---that is, the person that you are---by doing what is necessary to overcome your bondage to self.

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‘WHAT AM I TO DO WITH MYSELF?’

‘What am I to do with myself?’ said one of my clients to me. Let's call her Mary (not her real name). ‘I feel so helpless,’ Mary said.

My reply to Mary startled her at first, then quickly began to annoy her, and then frustrate her immensely. (I can have that sort of effect on my cIients, not to mention others as well.) I said to her, ‘That’s absolutely wonderful that you feel that way. Now we can get somewhere. I was hoping you would eventually come to feel this way.’

‘What do you mean? What are you talking about?’ Mary retorted. ‘Look,’ I said to her. ‘Feeling helpless, hopeless, and powerless is the foundation stone for real, lasting self-change. Now that you've worked out you're  beaten, you're ready to discover, and then start living from, your real power centre, which is the very ground of your being as a person among persons.’

Well, it took me quite a while to convince her, but Mary is now an entirely new person. She has peace of mind, and her old, tired, worn-out, negative ‘false selves’ have been dissolved. Well, most of them anyway. She is working progressively on the rest of them. You see, Mary is now living, one day at a time, and one moment at a time, from her ‘True Being,’ that is, as the real person that she is.

Pathway in ornamental garden,
Greater Tokyo Area, Japan.

Photo taken by the author.

We use the word ‘self’ in two different senses. Firstly, we use the word to describe the ‘person’ each one of us is---the ‘real you,’ so to speak---and that is a most legitimate use of the word. However, we also use the word to refer to what we mistakenly perceive to be our real identity. Let me explain. We perceive life through our senses and our conscious mind. Over time, beginning from the very moment of our birth, sensory perceptions harden into memories formed out of aggregates of thought and feeling. In time, the illusion of a separate 'witnessing self' emerges. However, the truth is that our mental continuity and sense of identity and existence are simply the result  of habit, memory and conditioning. Also, genetics has a bit to do with it as well. Hundreds and thousands of separate, ever-changing and ever-so-transient mental occurrences harden into a fairly persistent mental construct of sorts which is no more than a confluence of impermanent components (‘I-moments’ or ‘selves’) cleverly synthesized by the mind in a way which appears to give them a singularity and a separate and independent existence and life of their own. The result is a 'self'---or, as we will see, lots and lots of 'selves'---that are little more than bundles of memories from and out of which thought arises, or rather reacts to stimuli whether internal (eg other such bundles of memories, that is, 'I's' and 'me's') or external.

Now, it is through this perception of an internally generated sense of 'self' that most of us ordinarily experience, process and interpret all external reality. For example, if you see yourself as inferior to others, you will invariably find that life takes you at your own estimation of yourself, so don’t be surprised if you find yourself being treated as a doormat. Your every experience will tend to confirm what you fear most---‘I am indeed inferior to others, and others think so, too.’ Ditto if you perceive yourself as full of fear. Your life experience will be one long self-fulfilling prophecy, and you will find yourself identifying with Job in the Bible who uttered those immortal words, ‘For the thing that I fear comes upon me, and what I dread befalls me’ (Job 3:25). In other words, we tend to become the embodiment of all the negative self-images we have of ourselves. 

Lake Ashi, Hakone, Japan.
Photo taken by the author.

These negative self-images and misbeliefs, when we identify with them, dominate our daily lives, thoughts, feelings, and actions, operating as some sort of unseen enemy. They haunt and hound us, and rob us of peace of mind and emotional equanimity. The funny thing is these self-images have no power in and of themselves except the power we, the persons that we are, give them by, firstly, our belief in them, and secondly, the attention and time we give them in our mental and emotional life. Who or what is this 'I' or 'me' that is inferior or fearful? Call out to 'it.' Does it answer back? If it does it's more than likely it's another 'I' or 'me' doing the answering. It's all quite tragic ... and silly ... and unnecessary. There is a much better way to live. There is a way out!

Unfortunately, the mental construct of ‘self’---indeed, hundreds of ‘selves,' that is, 'I's' and 'me's,' in the form of our (often negative and destructive) likes, dislikes, attachments, aversions, cravings, habits of thought, prejudices, beliefs, opinions, and so on---which we have each built up over many years by thought and habit, and then reinforced by words spoken as well as memories of the past, imposes severe limitations on how we see life. All too often, life’s experiences are filtered through a distorted lens comprised of the totality of our various self-images. We fail to see things as they really are because of this distorted lens. You see, how you experience what happens to you in life will be determined very largely by your self-image, that is, how you see yourself.

Now, this is the really important part of what I have to say. Your self-image---actually, you have a multitude of self-images in your mind---is not the real person that you are. These self-images, although quite persistent because we choose to identify with them and hold onto them, and mistakenly believe that they are the ‘real me,’ are false and illusory. That doesn’t mean these mental images don’t exist in your mind. No, not at all. It simply means that these images are brought about by memory, and thus thought, and therefore have no separate, independent, and permanent existence in and of themselves from the real person that you are . Get the picture?

Well, I almost hear you ask, as my client did indeed ask as well, 'What can I do about this state of affairs?' The answer is---a lot. 

The first thing to do is to accept that you are a ‘person’---a vital and integral part of life's self-expression. That is what you are. You are not that 'I' or 'me,' whether under the guise of your so-called 'witnessing self,' ‘transcendental self,’ or ‘ego-self’---all of which are essentially the same thing---that are nothing more than the aggregation of the hundreds and thousands of ‘I-moments’ you have manufactured in your lifetime. Nor are you any of the other false selves with which you habitually identify (and thereby perptuate) and which you mistakenly believe to be the ‘real you.’ However, the reality is that this supposed 'real you' is nothing but (to use the words of the Indian spiritual philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti [pictured above left]) 'self-centred activity, the self that is always asserting, the self that demands fulfilment, the self that perpetuates itself through identification, the self that is constantly in action and creating its own centre and therefore isolating itself.'

The second thing to do is to recognize that you are always in direct and immediate contact with internal and external reality---that is, with what is---except when you put barriers between yourself---that is, the person that in truth you are---and reality.

Once you have fully accepted that fact, you can start to live differently. To do that, you need to observe life as if there were no observer. A familiar theme of the Indian spiritual philosopher Krishnamurti was the need for observation 'without the observer.' Why? Because where there is an 'observer' there is a conditioned mind and a conditioned point of view. In other words, where there is an observer, there is a distorting lens which experiences, processes and interprets---and distorts---all that happens in our lives through an amalgam of thoughts, feelings, images, memories, beliefs, opinions, prejudices and biases---all of which is the past and for the most part conditioning. And for goodness’ sake never, never, never try to ‘throw out the window’ or directly expel your ‘false selves.’ That will only drive them more deeply into your mind. ‘What you resist, persists,’ as the saying goes.

I offer no methods or techniques (heaven forbid) for getting rid of your false selves, except to say that self-observation is the key to successful living. It is the ‘handle’ by which you become and live from the reality of your ‘True Being,’ that is, the person that you are. I love these oft-cited words from author P D Ouspensky (In Search of the Miraculous), who is quoting his teacher George Gurdjieff [pictured below right]:

'Self-observation brings man to the realization of the necessity for self-change. And in observing himself a man notices that self-observation itself brings about certain changes in his inner processes, He begins to understand that self-observation is an instrument of self-change, a means of awakening. By observing himself he throws, as it were, a ray of light onto his inner processes which have hitherto worked in complete darkness. And under the influence of this light the processes themselves begin to change.'

You cannot change or reform your false selves, but there is no need to do so in any event. What needs to be done is to ‘dissolve’ your false selves. The first thing to do is to understand the process (an unfortunate word, for it makes it all sound far too mechanical) of formation of the false self/selves. The next thing to do, and keep on doing, that is, practising each day and throughout each day, is self-observation---letting it (whatever it may be) be as it is in you, but being willing for it to move and change.

Self-observation of your thoughts, feelings, and actions as they arise or occur---if undertaken with passive detachment and choiceless awareness (that is, with no judgment, justification, analysis, attitude, comment, interpretation, interference, criticism, or condemnation) of what unfolds as your inner and outer reality from one moment to the next---will in time break down your identification with your false selves as a result of the insight gained from the process of self-observation itself. When you truly observe the process of your thinking, and cease being ‘an observer apart from the observed’ (to use Krishnamurti’s words), which means you see the whole movement of your thoughts, and your feelings, as well as your actions, choicelessly in the sense explained above, then the very act of self-observation puts an end to thought. The result? The false selves are dissolved because they are simply the creation of thought, habits of thought, and conditioning---all of them thought. No thought, no false selves---and over time a psychological mutation occurs that is of tremendous depth and profundity. You have become a light unto yourself. Yes, it’s a wondrous thing to behold. Self-change from self-knowledge from self-observation. (Note. The reference to 'self' in the expressions 'self-change' and 'self-knowledge' is a reference to what we actually are as persons among persons. As to the expression 'self-observation,' the word 'self' has an expanded meaning as described above.)

In some spiritual traditions this whole process is referred to as ‘surrender’ or ‘letting go,’ with the idea that there needs to be a re-surrender and further letting-go whenever one becomes aware of something---in particular, some false self---that is holding us back from fully being the real person that we are. It doesn’t matter what you call it. The only important thing is that you dissolve your false selves through ongoing---yes, it must be undertaken on a progressive basis---self-observation.

I suggest there is no better place to begin than … now! So, start right where you are. Now.

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